Aging, Balance and Accidents: Part 1
The other day, something happened that could have turned out worse than it did. But thankfully, it didn’t. Still, it brought up a lot of old feelings and reminded me how easily we can slip into self-blame and worry.
My dog Nikki needed to go to the vet. My daughter kindly offered to take her, using a soft, portable crate that Nikki sits in comfortably. Everyone around me at my independent living residence told me I should stay home. They reminded me that my balance isn’t so good anymore because of the peripheral neuropathy I have. And they were right. I’ve fallen before. More than once. I’ve injured both shoulders in different falls, and I know how painful and upsetting it can be. But still, I felt worried about Nikki and didn’t want to be apart from her. So I decided to go.
I ignored the advice of others, including my daughter, because in my heart I needed to be there. I love that little dog. She’s more than a pet. She’s a companion and a comfort. And in that moment, I just couldn’t let her go without me.
Well, as it turned out, I fell again. Not hard, and not badly. I’m a little sore but thankfully nothing’s broken. But what happened afterward was interesting. My daughter felt guilty. Some of my friends did too. They said they should have insisted I stay home. That somehow it was their fault because they didn’t stop me.
But that’s what people do when something goes wrong. We blame ourselves. We say things like "I should have known" or "I should have done more." It’s a form of self-punishment that doesn’t help anyone. It can be a kind of "poor me" thinking that only leads to more sadness and guilt.
The truth is, we all do what we believe is best in the moment. I made the choice to go because my heart told me to go. My daughter and friends respected that, even if they disagreed. No one is to blame. Not them. Not me. And not Nikki either.
We all carry stories like this. Moments where something could have gone terribly wrong but didn’t. And the lesson isn’t to avoid life or blame others or ourselves. The lesson, I think, is to be kind. Kind to ourselves, kind to each other, and kind even to our mistakes.
Kind to ourselves, even when we make mistakes or decisions that others disagree with. You were where you needed to be, and I'm so glad the fall was not serious.
Life happens - only when you're alive! You can't fall out of a coffin!! We thrash ourselves for mishaps, but we are ALIVE to have the opportunity to mess up. My mother taught me to find a reason to be grateful in every situation, and find someone to forgive, even if its only yourself.