Between Freedom and Fear: Navigating America's Search for Stability
Why Uncertainty Drives Us to Seek Comfort in being told what to do.
"The overwhelming anxiety that freedom can bring often leads us to seek refuge in gods or dictators, attempting to alleviate the burden.”-Irvin Yalom
Freedom is an exciting idea, but it's not as easy. When we think about freedom, we imagine endless choices and the chance to do what we want without anyone telling us otherwise. That feels empowering, right? But in truth, the wide-open nature of real freedom can sometimes cause anxiety when we feel overwhelmed by all the issues confronting the nation and world. People seek certainty in an uncertain world. Democracy and freedom doesn't provide that certainty. As a result, people turn to dictatorship.
Many people are deluded into believing that someone such as a dictator can take on the burden of our choices and relieve our anxieties.
Ideally, democracy means that we are the authors of our lives. This thought is both freeing and intimidating. If we are the ones writing the script of our lives, then every choice we make and every action we take is ours, with no one else to blame or thank. The freedom to shape our lives comes with the scary truth that no larger plan or safety net supports us. For many, this realization can be tough to face.
Research in psychology shows that authoritarian parenting results in children becoming authoritarian as adults. In an authoritarian household, the parents decide every decision, choice, preference, and taste. Children emerge from these households firmly believing in authoritarian types of government. One example of this is the question of abortion. People find it much easier to completely ban all abortions. That scenario means that couples do not have to wrestle with making the decision to abort or not. I know of at least one couple, former friends of mine who are now MAGA Republicans, who decided to abort their third child because their pregnancy was accidental. The husband came from an authoritarian home and was, himself, authoritarian.
Today, in America, we're experiencing a time when that sense of freedom and the uncertainty it brings is very real. More than ever, people are feeling the burden of personal responsibility, whether it's in forming their beliefs, dealing with political divides, or managing daily life amid global issues. We see individuals moving to extremes, looking for leaders, ideas, or groups to offer a clear path. In a way, these are modern "gods" and "dictators," figures or systems that we turn to to relieve the stress of many choices.
People like knowing that some things are solid, such as justice, love, or freedom itself. But even these beliefs can alter over time, and that is what we are in danger of happening today. The idea that even our core beliefs might be contingent can feel uncomfortable because it questions the idea that there is a true foundation we can always trust.
In today's America, people are divided on which values are unchangeable and which principles should guide our lives. Some hold to certain beliefs, hoping they will provide stability. In contrast, others accept the chaos and uncertainty and try to adapt to new challenges. This balance between freedom and the desire for someone to tell us what to do is at stake today.
