Mental Health Awareness

A life of listening

The month of May is Mental Health Awareness Month. For me, as I hope for everyone, it is a deeply important time. The reason it matters so much to me is that I have spent my entire life working in the field of mental health.

My interest in mental health began with my own struggles. From childhood on, I experienced depression, anxiety, and painful shyness. These problems were awful. They made life feel overwhelming. And it was through these early challenges that I felt the call to help not just myself but others, too. I wanted to understand why people suffer emotionally and what could be done to relieve that suffering. That desire never left me.

So I studied. I went through undergraduate school, graduate school, and post-graduate training to learn all I could. Then I entered the field. I worked in a variety of psychiatric settings. Some were outpatient clinics connected to hospitals. One was a day hospital for people who spent the entire day in treatment before going home at night. Eventually, I opened my own private practice. Many psychiatrists referred their patients to me for psychotherapy.

It was a rewarding life and it was very hard work.

The patients I saw in the hospitals and clinics were often very emotionally disturbed. Some suffered from paranoid schizophrenia, major depression, and various personality disorders. These were not mild or occasional struggles. These were people who felt lost, isolated, frightened, and deeply unwell.

Later, in my private practice, the patients were often dealing with the normal but difficult stresses of everyday life. People struggling with work, marriage, parenting, or dating. Many were overwhelmed by how fast and demanding the world had become. Some carried deep sadness. Others were trying to figure out who they were. A number of them were dealing with sexual identity, and in those years, being homosexual was still met with shame and secrecy. It was so much harder than it is today.

Looking back, I feel grateful and proud to say that none of my patients ever attempted suicide or brought any legal action against me. My approach was always professional, but also warm, nonjudgmental, and deeply accepting. That style helped people feel safe enough to explore what was hard to say.

One of the most difficult kinds of work I did was couples therapy. It is painful to sit in a room where anger, sadness, and betrayal come pouring out. When a marriage has lost trust, especially after infidelity, it can feel like trying to rebuild a house after a fire. But in many cases, trust and love could be repaired. What helped most was the couple’s ability to trust me as a neutral, caring presence.

Sometimes, though, the therapy led to the decision to separate or divorce. Those cases were never easy. But in other cases, couples came through the storm together. That made the work worthwhile.

It is also important to say that not every case was a success. There were patients who left therapy angry, confused, or disappointed. In some cases, I referred them to someone else. In others, they chose to stop and did not want to return. Sometimes they were struggling with something called transference, which means they projected old anger or pain onto me. I understood it, even if it hurt. And in a few cases, those same patients came back later, ready to begin again. That’s what the work was about starting again, hoping again, being open to the slow process of healing.

Mental Health Awareness Month is a time to shine a light on these struggles and these efforts. But truly, every day should be a reminder of how important mental health is. We brush our teeth every day. We check our physical health with regular exams. Mental health deserves the same steady care.

If you have been diagnosed with a mental illness major depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, or a personality disorder you are not your diagnosis. You are not the schizophrenic or the depressive. Just as someone with a cold or the flu is not the flu, you are not your disorder. You are Allan, or George, or Susan, or Elaine. You are a person who has a condition. It may be serious, it may be painful, but it is not who you are. That distinction matters more than people realize.

Mental health is about dignity. It is about seeing the human being behind the struggle. And it is about hope the hope that with help, with compassion, and with persistence, healing is possible.