Our Need for Friendship

We need each other because we are social by nature.

Alone

By Maya Angelou 

Lying, thinking

Last night

How to find my soul a home

Where water is not thirsty

And bread loaf is not stone

I came up with one thing

And I don’t believe I’m wrong

That nobody,

But nobody

Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone

Nobody, but nobody

Can make it out here alone.

There are some millionaires

With money they can't use

Their wives run round like banshees

Their children sing the blues

They've got expensive doctors

To cure their hearts of stone.

But nobody

No, nobody

Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone

Nobody, but nobody

Can make it out here alone.

Now if you listen closely

I'll tell you what I know

Storm clouds are gathering

The wind is gonna blow

The race of man is suffering

And I can hear the moan,

'Cause nobody,

But nobody

Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone

Nobody, but nobody

Can make it out here alone.

This Maya Angelou poem is a poignant expression of the universal experience of loneliness. Through free verse, the poet conveys the human need for connection and emphasizes that nobody can endure life in isolation. 

Why we need friends:

Friends are essential for several reasons. They provide emotional support during both good times and bad, helping to reduce stress and increase feelings of happiness and belonging. Friends can also offer different perspectives, advice, and solutions to problems, fostering personal growth and development. They encourage us to try new things, thus broadening our experiences and skills. Moreover, friends can serve as a source of motivation and accountability, pushing us towards our goals and helping us stay on track. Social connections are linked to better mental and physical health, including lower risks of depression and longer life expectancy. Lastly, friends enrich our lives with joy, laughter, and companionship, making everyday experiences more enjoyable and meaningful.

At the heart of friendship is the concept of emotional support. Friends provide a safe haven for expressing feelings, sharing joys, and navigating challenges. This emotional scaffolding not only offers comfort but also reinforces our sense of belonging and acceptance within a social context. The psychological safety that comes with being able to express oneself without fear of judgment or rejection is fundamental to the development of strong, lasting friendships.

In addition, friends share experiences and interests, engaging in activities together and discussing common interests. After my wife passed away, family and friends provided emotional support in my time of need. That experience and others deepened the bonds that kept us in close relationships for many years, spanning my life.

Trust and reliability form the backbone of any friendship. Knowing that someone has your back, will keep your secrets, and can be counted on in times of need is reassuring. It fosters a sense of security and predictability in an otherwise uncertain world. This trust is built and maintained through consistent actions, empathy, and mutual respect, serving as a crucial ingredient in the sustainability of the friendship.

Understanding plays a pivotal role in friendships. It's about more than just knowing each other's likes and dislikes; it's about comprehending each other's thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. This deep understanding facilitates a meaningful connection, allowing friends to provide relevant advice, support, and encouragement tailored to each other's unique situations and needs.

Research highlights the importance of reciprocity in friendships. This mutual exchange of emotions, support, and favors ensures that the relationship is balanced and fulfilling for both parties. It's this reciprocal nature that sustains the friendship over time, allowing it to evolve and adapt to changing life circumstances.

The Risks of Social Isolation:

Unfortunately, social isolation is an increasing concern in contemporary society, affecting individuals across various age groups. The impact of social isolation is profound, touching on various aspects of human health and well-being.

One of the primary risks associated with social isolation is its effect on mental health. Individuals who find themselves isolated are at a higher risk of developing mental health issues such as depression and anxiety. 

The absence of social support networks exacerbates feelings of loneliness and despair, potentially leading to a downward spiral in mental health. The link between social isolation and mental health challenges is well-documented, with numerous studies highlighting how the lack of social connections contributes to an increased risk of psychological distress.

Physical health is significantly impacted by social isolation. Research has shown that individuals who experience high levels of loneliness and social isolation are at greater risk for developing cardiovascular diseases, such as high blood pressure and heart disease. The stress associated with feeling isolated can lead to inflammation and other physical conditions that compromise one’s health. Furthermore, isolated individuals may adopt unhealthy lifestyle habits such as poor diet, physical inactivity, and smoking, which further deteriorate their physical health.

It is well established that there are risks to cognitive health, particularly among older adults. Studies suggest that individuals who engage in fewer social activities or feel lonely are more likely to experience cognitive decline and are at an increased risk for conditions such as Alzheimer's and other types of dementia disease. All of us need social interactions. They play a crucial role in keeping the mind engaged and active.

Finally, social isolation undermines the fabric of communities. When individuals withdraw from social engagements, they contribute less to the communal and economic activities that foster community well-being and resilience. This can lead to a weakening of social bonds and community networks, making it harder for communities to mobilize in times of need or to support their members effectively.