Pictured Memories as Our Minds Wander Back

"Pictures at an Exhibition" by Mussorgsky

"The mind forgets, but the heart will always remember. And what is the heart's memory but love itself?"― Twan Eng Tan, The Gift of Rain

"Memory is the diary we all carry about with us."---Oscar Wilde

I have discovered that my mind operates not only verbally but visually as well. Often, memories come to me in pictures and not in words. Those pictures are sharp, vivid, and three-dimensional. We reminisce, but for many of us, as we grow older, visual memories pop into our minds.

The past wanders into my mind. I remember meeting and dating my wife. I remember the love we felt for each other. I remember much more about the lives we shared with our children over fifty years. I remember my childhood.

They return as vivid pictures in my mind. My childhood home, and at home, was an apartment in the Bronx. I remember the kitchen, clothesline, or table where the laundry dried. It was my grandparents' apartment, and my brother, mother, and I lived there. I remember their bedroom, where we often sat in the evening. I remember the living room with the television between the two windows and opposite the couch, and there was a long table that was opened for dinner when there were holidays and the entire extended family visiting.

These nights are not only verbal memories. The pictures in my mind are clear. It is as though my mind took photographs, and photographs were implanted in my brain.

Verbal and visual memories are a familiar phenomenon for everyone. However, it is common for the minds of older people to drift back in time. It's important to clarify that this is not voluntary and that these images and memories appear alone. I react to some of them with warmth, but others with deep regret, and a few even with anger. But I can do nothing to change the things I deeply regret. What's the old saying? "If I knew then what I know now, it would've been different. 

I live in an independent community for older adults who are physically safer for health reasons and do not live alone. One thing that often occurs is that during conversations, many memories relate to music, movies, historical events we have lived through, and our personal histories. For each of us, memories seem to flood our minds, and as each of us describes memories, it stimulates the minds of others to remember.

Each of us finds some joy and solace in these recollections. Sad feelings emerge, but happy memories also emerge. Sometimes, there are memories of events that were hilarious, and I enjoy laughing again. All of this comes under the heading of reminisces.

A final thought is that I have lived a full life, and I would rather have these memories than not. As Charles Dickens, one of my favorite authors, said in "A Tale of Two Cities," "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."

And the memories are like "Pictures at an Exhibition."