The Burden of Chronic Worrying

Chronic worrying is a heavy burden to carry.

"There are people who are always expecting trouble, and in this way." they enjoy many sorrows that never really happen to them." 

"Worry is evidence of an ill-controlled brain; it is merely a waste of time in unpleasantness."

"Worry is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind."

"Worry Pretends To Be Necessary But Serves No Useful Purpose."

Are you a Worrier? I Am!

Of course, I come from a family of worriers, so I come by it naturally. When I was 19 years old and in psychotherapy, the psychologist told me I lived as though there was a sword over my head. He was right. It's improved. Age, wisdom, marriage, and working in mental health for forty years with patients who worried more than I ever did helped me improve. In addition, learning techniques in my training and using them with patients was also of great help to me.

I especially love the last quote above. Even today, friends and family remind me that worrying will not change the situation I'm worried about, which is correct.

A crucial cognitive distortion that fuels worry is chronically asking, "What if..?" A mind tangled in "what ifs" can become a weary traveler lost in a labyrinth. Each worrying thought becomes a branching path, leading deeper into fear and uncertainty. While a dose of caution can be a valuable compass, unchecked worry becomes a heavy cloak, obscuring the present and sapping the strength to navigate toward solutions.

Imagine: you dwell on a presentation, imagining every stumble, every critical glance. This mental rehearsal may offer a false sense of preparedness, but it siphons energy from actually practicing or refining your ideas. 

Beyond immediate situations, a chronic "what if" mindset casts a long shadow on life. It can steal the joy of experiences, making us hesitant to embrace fresh adventures, fearing the potential disappointment. 

But by focusing on what we can control, we break the hold of the "what ifs." Mindfulness practices, like meditation or gentle breathing, can train our minds to observe worries without being swept away. Accepting uncertainty allows us to remain flexible and resilient in the face of what unfolds.

Remember, "what ifs" are whispers, not prophecies. The more we invest our energy in present action and mindful acceptance, the less power we grant to the anxieties that hide in the shadows.

Also, worrying stems from feelings of helplessness. When we perceive a situation as out of our control or lack the resources or knowledge to address a problem, we worry about the potential adverse outcomes. This sense of helplessness fuels feelings of anxiety and leads to rumination as we try to find ways to regain control or solve the problem. Sometimes, worrying is also a learned behavior or a coping mechanism for dealing with stress or uncertainty. I can report that worrying was learned from my family.

It is said that feelings of guilt focus on the past, but that worry focuses on the future. As we enter the New Year of 2024, many people are worried about the future. Why?

There are many answers to why we are worried about the future. There are two raging wars. One is between Russia and Ukraine, and the other is between Palestinians and Israelis. Both wars carry the threat of wider conflagrations and even World War.

Global warming is a genuine threat. We are witnessing major flooding in some areas and drought in others.

There is the threat of China attempting to invade Taiwan, a major U.S. ally.

Here in the United States, there are vast numbers of illegal immigrants seeking asylum from repressive governments in countries like Venezuela.

There is a deep political divide between far-right-wing Republicans and liberals and moderates in the Democratic Party.

In the USA, there are also the problems of inflation, increasing numbers of violent crimes, and intolerance of others, as exemplified by antisemitism, anti-Islamic, and anti-black sentiments.

Why Worry Is Poison To Well-being

Constant worry is a relentless thief of time. Hours melt away while we meditate on imagined misfortunes, robbing us of precious moments to savor life's joys and seize opportunities. We miss the gentle caress of the present, preoccupied with potential shadows lurking in the future. This lost time could have been spent nurturing relationships, pursuing passions, or simply indulging in the quiet solace of being present.

 It is also toxic and casts a dark spell on our physical health. The persistent churning of anxieties triggers a cascade of stress hormones, flooding our bodies with cortisol and adrenaline. This prolonged fight-or-flight response weakens our immune system, leaving us vulnerable to illness and hindering our body's natural healing processes. Sleep, the restorative balm for mind and body, becomes a distant dream, further fueling the vicious cycle of worry and physical ailments.

Worrying erodes our confidence and self-esteem. It paints our minds with catastrophic scenarios, fueling feelings of inadequacy and doubt. We shrink in the face of challenges, paralyzed by the fear of failure. This internal sabotage stunts our personal growth and limits our potential to achieve our dreams.

Finally, worry isolates us from the world. Consumed by our internal maelstrom, we withdraw from social interactions, fearing judgment and misunderstanding. This isolation deepens our anxieties, creating a vicious feedback loop that reinforces our sense of loneliness and disconnection.

But there is hope. Just as worry can steal our joy, so can mindfulness reclaim it. Recognizing worry's unhealthy grip is the first step. Through mindful practices like meditation and deep breathing, we can learn to observe our thoughts with detachment, letting them drift away like passing clouds. We can shift our focus to the present moment, finding solace in the simple act of being. 

Besides practicing mindfulness, all of us can do what a friend of mine does to prevent herself from feeling helpless. She writes postcards and emails to politicians and other people of influence who can make a difference in many things happening.

To constantly worry is to carry a burden. If you are a worrier, then it's time to put down the burden and free your mind from such useless preoccupations.

dransphd@aol.com