The Journey is Filled With Obstacles

There is a Zen saying that has stayed with me for a long time. It goes like this. “Obstacles do not block the path. They are the path.”

I was speaking on the phone today with a dear friend of mine who lives in New York. We’re both around the same age now, and though we live far apart, our conversations often feel like we’re sitting across the table from each other. We were sharing some of the struggles we each face these days. He lives in a co-op building in Manhattan, and the residents have developed a lovely tradition they call a soirée. Each apartment owner takes a turn hosting a small gathering. Nothing formal. Just wine, food, conversation, and connection. They last an hour or so. But now it’s his turn, and he’s feeling very nervous about it.

He told me he worries that something might go wrong. What if people don’t like the food. What if the evening doesn’t feel quite right. What if they judge him. The worry lives in him before anything even happens. I reassured him and said what many of us might say. So what if not everything is perfect. Let it be. But he reminded me, gently and honestly, that worry is something he always struggles with. And then I laughed and said I understand. You’ve known me for years. You know I’m the same way. I’ve spent a lifetime worrying about things that mostly never came true.

That’s when I thought again about the Zen teaching. Obstacles are not in the way. They are the way. This is what life is made of. We live each day walking our own path, and along the way we bump into things. The worries. The fears. The loneliness. The changes. The uncertainty. They are not mistakes or signs that we have done something wrong. They are life itself.

So many of us carry the burden of worry. Some of it comes from a lifelong struggle with anxiety or depression. There’s often a voice in the back of our minds that says things will fall apart or that we’re not in control. That voice is convincing. But it isn’t always truthful. It makes us feel small when we are actually strong. It makes us doubt ourselves when we are capable.

We sometimes fall into a trap of self-pity. We say to ourselves, why me. Why am I always the one struggling. Everyone else seems to have it easier. Everyone else looks happy. But that is a distortion. That is the old belief that the grass is greener in the neighbor’s yard. In truth, it’s not greener. And often, it may not be as green as it seems. We just don’t see their obstacles.

So what is the lesson here. It is not to eliminate the obstacles. That would be impossible. It is to understand that they are part of the journey. The very things we think are in the way are the way. The feelings we wrestle with, the situations we fear, the turns we didn’t expect. They are what shape us.

There is strength in simply moving forward. One step. Then another. We do not need to run. We do not need to be perfect. We only need to walk our own path, knowing that the rocks beneath our feet are part of that path. And that each time we stumble or hesitate or even fall, we are still going forward.

To my friend in Manhattan, I say hold your soirée. Let the evening unfold. Let the food be what it is. Let the laughter rise and fall. Let yourself be seen. And to anyone else walking their path with worry or doubt, remember. The obstacles are not the end of the road. They are the road.

And it is still a beautiful road.