Your story about the snowstorm and the West Side Highway reminds me of a family story that had a profound influence on me. In 1959, my mother was driving from Florida to New Jersey on a Friday. I was seated in the passenger seat and my five year old brother was in the backseat. As we were driving through North Carolina, the military troops were on R and R and many dozens were hitchhiking along the road. After passing dozens of white soldiers, my mother saw a lone Black soldier hitchhiking and she pulled over, told me to get in the back, and said to the soldier he could sit in the front next to her. After many miles, we dropped the soldier off near his hometown. I then moved to the front seat and asked, “ Mom, why did you pass all those white soldiers and then you picked up a colored soldier?” I will never forget her reply. Mom said, “Marc, if I didn’t pick him up, no one would and I wanted him to be able to spend the weekend with his family.” That was 65 years ago and I remember as if it happened last week. My parents’ actions are what formed my values. That is their legacy to me.
Marc, I struggle with this very fact that good people like your mom are taken too soon. I will never forget John Gunther’s memoir about his soon. The title is “Death be Not Proud.” His soon was just a child and their first. He died of cancer. Harold Kushners book “When Bad Things Happen to Good People was a worldwide success. He was a Reform Rabbi and didn't care if you were religious or not or what religion. His point was its just life. He and his wife lost their first child and to cancer I believe. My problem is with accepting the random nature of life and death. I don't know if I believe in God or not. But I'm not religious, neither was my wife, raised Irish Catholic and neither are our daughters. We lost Pat too soon and to cancer. When I told her its not fair her response was “whats fair, look at all the very young people joining her for chemo therapy and some of them were clearly near the end. It brings to mind Shakespears quote in Hamlet, “life is but a walking shadow….” There I go again with my pessimism.
Allan, I have written an essay, still in progress, about how I as an Atheist view my death. While I will reflect on your comment, I don’t think “fairness” when it comes to death is a meaningful concept. I will think further.
Your story about the snowstorm and the West Side Highway reminds me of a family story that had a profound influence on me. In 1959, my mother was driving from Florida to New Jersey on a Friday. I was seated in the passenger seat and my five year old brother was in the backseat. As we were driving through North Carolina, the military troops were on R and R and many dozens were hitchhiking along the road. After passing dozens of white soldiers, my mother saw a lone Black soldier hitchhiking and she pulled over, told me to get in the back, and said to the soldier he could sit in the front next to her. After many miles, we dropped the soldier off near his hometown. I then moved to the front seat and asked, “ Mom, why did you pass all those white soldiers and then you picked up a colored soldier?” I will never forget her reply. Mom said, “Marc, if I didn’t pick him up, no one would and I wanted him to be able to spend the weekend with his family.” That was 65 years ago and I remember as if it happened last week. My parents’ actions are what formed my values. That is their legacy to me.
Marc reading your note gave me goosebumps and brought me close to tears. What a wonderful mom and woman. Thank you for sharing
She was extraordinary. Unfortunately she died at 49. Dad was great, too. I once had a similar experience with him, on the same trip
And I will also think further. I'm confused about this
Marc, I struggle with this very fact that good people like your mom are taken too soon. I will never forget John Gunther’s memoir about his soon. The title is “Death be Not Proud.” His soon was just a child and their first. He died of cancer. Harold Kushners book “When Bad Things Happen to Good People was a worldwide success. He was a Reform Rabbi and didn't care if you were religious or not or what religion. His point was its just life. He and his wife lost their first child and to cancer I believe. My problem is with accepting the random nature of life and death. I don't know if I believe in God or not. But I'm not religious, neither was my wife, raised Irish Catholic and neither are our daughters. We lost Pat too soon and to cancer. When I told her its not fair her response was “whats fair, look at all the very young people joining her for chemo therapy and some of them were clearly near the end. It brings to mind Shakespears quote in Hamlet, “life is but a walking shadow….” There I go again with my pessimism.
Allan, I have written an essay, still in progress, about how I as an Atheist view my death. While I will reflect on your comment, I don’t think “fairness” when it comes to death is a meaningful concept. I will think further.
I agree, it’s not a meaningful concept. It’s emotional, irrational and not a concept at all.
First respect the self.
Then you can respect others as well.
yes