Cognitive Dissonance Causes Inner and Outer Conflict

The Emotional Weight of Beliefs and Betrayal of those Beliefs.

Cognitive Dissonance:

Dictionary definition: dissonance is a lack of harmony between things. Incompatibility (dissonance) can happen when you do something against one of your values. You can also learn new information that disagrees with a long-standing belief or opinion. For example, eating meat even though you adore animals.

I experience dissonance when I hear about another shooting. When I was a child, that never happened. My uncles, all of whom served in the army during WW11, had to turn in their weapons to the police, and a deadline was given. I also remember reading in the newspaper when a policeman retired after thirty years on the force and never drew his weapon. Now, everyone has a gun, and people insist that the Constitution guarantees them that right.

Cognitive Dissonance is something we all deal with in our daily lives. We feel uncomfortable when our beliefs, values, or actions are not in concert. Most everyday situations can trigger a mental conflict. Let's start with a simple example. Now, put yourself in the place of trying to eat healthier and hold a greasy burger and fries. Part of your brain says, "This isn't good for me," while the other part says, "But it smells great, and I deserve a treat."

The tension you are feeling is Cognitive Dissonance. To ease the discomfort, you may remind yourself that you can exercise tomorrow or that one meal will not hurt. In this way, your mind works overtime to resolve the conflict.

Now, something deeper: Suppose you had always thought the right thing to do was to be honest, but then you told a small lie to save someone's feelings. Perhaps a friend asks if you like their new haircut, and you respond with, "That looks great," when you do not think so. Later, you may feel uncomfortable because your behavior clashes with your value of honesty. You might say, "It was a white lie; I didn't want to hurt their feelings. That's more important than being brutally honest."

These mental pretexts ease the discomfort of acting inconsistently with your self-perception. This inner dilemma also extends to relationships. For example, you consider yourself to be a kind and patient individual. But you blow up at a loved one in an argument. That Dissonance makes you feel guilty. You may then feel the need to blame this on stress or tell yourself the other person deserved it.

Unfortunately, these justifications rarely facilitate growth or resolution beyond making you feel better in the immediate uncomfortable moment. Major decisions can also lead to major Cognitive Dissonance. Suppose one spends a lot of money on something, such as a car or a vacation, and then afterward questions that decision, "Was it worth the money?"

To avoid regret, a person might emphasize all the positives about their choice while acknowledging very few negatives. Disregarding practicality can make one feel more justified. Cognitive Dissonance is quite normal in the human experience. It's how our brain makes sense of the world and keeps us comfortable. But the trick is to recognize it when it is happening and wonder if we are avoiding something important and true or an opportunity for growth.

The other side of the coin is when things change so dramatically that they truly challenge what you once believed or expected, resulting in Cognitive Dissonance. In an era that is redefining what it means to be politically moderate, the increasing presence of far-right politics (including, but not limited to, Donald Trump and MAGA) can lead many Americans into a state of Cognitive Dissonance.

For many of us, that conflict arises when we are spoken to in the language of extremism or met with policies we perceive as enablers of divisiveness or anti-democratic actions. The problem could arise from a struggle to reconcile their pride as Americans with what they see as an erosion of fundamental values because of certain actions or policies.

Republicans who came up through the ranks with nothing but love for their party and its message of small government, fiscal conservatism, or old-school patriotism may find themselves at odds when the sense of alienation preached by MAGA emerges. Rather, they will support the party by rallying around common issues such as tax cuts while accepting their unease about other aspects of its direction.

Individuals caught up in communities or families that have slid into far-right movements experience social dissonance. They hold moderate or conflicting views. The demands made in attempting to find a balance with friends and family generates a low-grade, perpetually unresolved state of stress.

Those with moderate political views who are exposed to media messages that reinforce far-right ideologies experience psychological conflict when the news contradicts their lived reality or prior beliefs. The apparent stalemate between what is delivered to them, such as election fraud conspiracies, and their perception leads to discomfort that becomes Cognitive Dissonance.

Moderation in politics depends on finding common ground. Still, the more groups are polarized in opposite directions, the more challenging important conversations become. Resolving these conflicts is important so a common, less divided political space can emerge.

However, political polarization in the United States does not end, which adds to my cognitive dissonance.

It’s important not to minimize this phenomenon. Cognitive Dissonance causes anxiety and depression for many people. Often, the only relief comes from seeking psychotherapy if talking with friends and family does not help.