Emotional Regulation, Dysregulation

Are we living in a world of temper tantrums?

Are we living in a world of temper tantrums, impulsivity, and rage? My thought is yes. The world is having one big infant temper tantrum, but it's dangerous. People are dying in armed conflict. Children are dying in armed conflict. We are not infants, and we are armed with powerful weapons. We are erupting, and we must stop.

Emotional regulation refers to the capacity to manage and respond to one’s emotional experiences effectively and efficiently. It entails the ability to monitor emotions’ intensity and duration and their expression in socially suitable manners. It represents a crucial component of a child’s growth and is vital to their overall emotional well-being and progress.

Children are not born with the ability to self-regulate. Rather, they learn it from their parents. Infants learn critical skills from their mothers and surroundings in the early years of life. Children rely on their caregivers to help them manage and process their emotional experiences. A newborn infant relies on its mother to soothe it when it cries. Research shows that such synergy or harmony between a newborn and its mother lays the groundwork for children’s life-long ability to regulate their emotional experiences. The symbiotic relationship is referred to as co-regulation. 

As children age, they become increasingly active, self-regulating their thoughts and actions. They begin to integrate and replicate the interaction learned through co-regulation. Each child is special, and including the need and manner in which they emotionally regulate, they learn and need to integrate over time.

Finally, parents instruct and guide children in patterns of emotional regulation. When expressed as direct guidance for children’s behavior, this involves helping them to identify and label their emotions and offering simple strategies for managing them, such as counting to ten when angry or using words to describe feelings instead of acting them out. From a broader perspective, however, the most effective way for children to learn and foster emotional regulation is through the example of their parents.

By modeling an accepting and nurturing environment and responding to children’s displays of emotions with acceptance rather than rejection, parents allow children to feel free to express their emotions and be clearly informed regarding the behaviors that will be considered appropriate or inappropriate. 

As children reach school age and begin interacting with peers regularly, they incrementally develop and refine emotional regulation skills. They learn to read and respond to others’ emotions, mirroring appropriate reactions or adapting their displays to social contexts. Children further learn how to interact with each other in more complex ways, requiring a more nuanced form of emotional regulation to navigate situations like conflict resolution and cooperation. 

There are various negative consequences for children who are unable to exercise emotional regulation. For one, such children are likely to perform poorly at school due to the interconnectedness of their ability to regulate emotions, focus, and concentrate. Additionally, due to the discomfort their intense or inappropriate emotional expression causes, kids may have trouble making and maintaining friends. Long-term consequences are therefore felt, as such skills are linked to mental health problems such as depression and anxiety.

Children with well-developed emotional regulation skills are more likely to be socially and academically successful and generally happier. Furthermore, such skills serve as the basis for healthy emotional functioning throughout life. 

Emotional dysregulation is a term used to describe difficulties in managing and regulating one's emotional responses effectively. It is a common feature of various mental health conditions, such as borderline personality disorder (BPD), complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD), and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Individuals with emotional dysregulation often experience intense, rapidly changing emotions that can be challenging to control. They may lead to impulsive or maladaptive behaviors.

One key aspect of emotional dysregulation is emotional reactivity. People with this condition may have a lower threshold for emotional stimuli, meaning they are more easily triggered by situations or events that might not affect others as strongly. For example, a person with emotional dysregulation might become extremely upset or angry in response to a minor disagreement with a friend. In contrast, someone without emotional dysregulation may be able to handle the situation more calmly.

Another characteristic of emotional dysregulation is the intensity of emotions experienced. When emotionally dysregulated individuals feel an emotion, it tends to be more intense and overwhelming compared to those without the condition. For instance, they may experience intense sadness that feels unbearable, leading to thoughts of self-harm or suicide. In contrast, others might be able to cope with the sadness more effectively.

The duration of emotional experiences is also a factor in emotional dysregulation. Emotions tend to linger for extended periods, and it may be difficult for the individual to return to a baseline emotional state. For example, after an argument with a significant other, a person with emotional dysregulation might remain angry or upset for hours or even days, struggling to let go of the negative emotions.

Emotional dysregulation can also manifest as emotional lability, which refers to rapid, frequent mood swings. An individual might experience a range of emotions within a short period of time, such as going from feeling happy and content to suddenly becoming irritable and depressed. These mood swings can be unpredictable and disruptive to daily life and relationships.

Impulsivity is another common feature of emotional dysregulation. When experiencing intense emotions, individuals may engage in impulsive behaviors to cope with or escape from their feelings. These behaviors can be harmful or self-destructive, such as substance abuse, binge eating, reckless driving, or risky sexual behavior. For example, a person who feels overwhelmed by feelings of loneliness or abandonment might engage in promiscuous behavior to seek validation and cope with their emotions.

Difficulty in interpersonal relationships is also a common challenge for those with emotional dysregulation. The intense, fluctuating emotions and impulsive behaviors can strain relationships with family, friends, and romantic partners. For instance, a person with emotional dysregulation may lash out at loved ones during an emotional outburst, causing hurt feelings and damaging trust in the relationship.

Treatment for emotional dysregulation typically involves a combination of therapy and skill-building. Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is an evidence-based treatment that helps individuals develop skills to manage their emotions effectively, tolerate distress, and improve interpersonal relationships. Other approaches, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and mindfulness practices, can also be beneficial in helping individuals regulate their emotions and reduce impulsive behaviors.

I hope everyone has gotten the picture!