12 Comments

I hear you, Allan. I recognise everything you've shared in my conversations with my father and what he couldn't articulate later when he was really ill. May I offer, as you already know based on your other articles, talking and more talking or writing-sharing your thoughts with your family can help. Even when there's no action to take, sharing how we each feel is a loving way to release frustration and stay close. One family I know started recording old stories of traditions they had or family history, and it offered a productive space / conduit / exchange on equal footing—just a thought.

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Victoria, that is a great thought and it is exactly what I’m doing and I wanna urge everyone who is struggling with the aging process follow those same suggestions. And I will continue. Talk to people and to write.

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Thanks Allan...well said. This appears to be spot on..."I still find it difficult to accept that I need help". Not only true as we age, but sometimes life long. Go well.

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Ian, do you mind if I think of you as a friend of mine? I hope not. I promise something about me. I still need help, 82 years old.

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Friends across the oceans Allan. You have 10 years on me but I look forward to writing as cogently as you do when I reach 82. Blessings to you mate.

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Ten years is noting my friend

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Allan, I hope you are settling in to your new place. As you know my daughter already helps me with a lot of things. Sometimes it is too much for both of us. It is what it is for now. If I can ever get some things straightened out in my life I might need less help.

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I can’t call it getting settled. I feel so far out of my own environment that it’s beyond my ability to explain. Also, I don’t think there is ever such a thing as getting things straightened out because there are always other things. We need help, especially as we age and I see that now in this independent living community: maybe the topic of my next essay. Stay in touch with me.

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Allan, I am so sorry that things feel so different and unlike your own environment. I can imagine. I’m a creature of routine, you probably are too, which makes this more difficult I am sure. I am hear to listen, to read, and thinking of you.

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While not the same as your situation, my daughter now asks me to text her when I arrive safely driving to or from Va. when she first said this a year ago, I knew it was the beginning and I appreciated it.

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This post by Dr. Schwartz helps all of us to better understand the fluid and evolving relationship we have with loved ones and those in our communities as we age. I look forward to each of the author’s blogs because it reminds me of how what I do in life now, dictates how I will fare in the difficult “golden” years soon to come.

In the below video, I spotlight a friend’s mom during a visit from me. Sadly my friend couldn’t visit her mom (Nell) so I did in her place. Nell passed quietly a few years ago. We all miss her.

https://youtu.be/Ib312TJbjTI

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Leif thank you

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