Beth, when I was a teen and in desparate need of mental help support my family also thought it was a shameful thing. It was only when I was on my own that I found a warm and empathetic therapist. My family's reaction? Good, you're crazy. I remember that to this day and I'm 82
Hi Allan, thanka for the piece. Unfortunately some therapists, especially beginners obsess around techniques and disregard the therapeutic relationships, which is based on the elements you have mentioned. The relationship, the present, the dynamics, and essential elements first; the strategies, techniques or whatever we calll them, should be integrated when necessary. This is what I encounter the most when I supervise therapists. Thanks for the reminder!
Selda, I know exactly what you mean. Our young therapists need a lot more training and to be in psychotherapy for themselves. Thank you for your observation.
I am a therapist and I have to believe that these "basic" and essential qualities that the therapist can bring to the client/therapist relationship superseed all the other latest techniques, trainings ECT. Let's never lose sight that the bare bones of any therapeutic relationship starts with the qualities you have outlined.
Hi Allan, I couldn't agree more with this excellent essay. I totally agree that a psychotherapist must have empathy. That is one key to gaining a patient's trust. I was raised in a family that believed psychotherapy was shameful, and getting any kind of help was, as well. So I didn't seek out psychotherapy -- until a perfect storm happened: as an adult, I got diagnosed and treated for cancer, left a toxic marriage, and started a new job -- all within a timeframe of two years. Lots of stressors. I sought out a therapist who was kind and empathetic, someone I trusted, and it has made all the difference. Thank you!
I have been to a few therapists/counseling and I felt they were blaming me for the problems I was having at the time with my young son! One therapist said that my inner child was stronger than my adult self! I quit going to all the therapists at that time!
No, I don't think I need to see one now! I'm all alone with my kitty now! I see my son now and then and when he takes me for my appointments.I probably should have seen a therapist when I was a teenager. I used to get depressed a lot. I remember once talking to my pediatrician about it and he was going to suggest a therapist but I said no, I'll be o.k.
Beth, when I was a teen and in desparate need of mental help support my family also thought it was a shameful thing. It was only when I was on my own that I found a warm and empathetic therapist. My family's reaction? Good, you're crazy. I remember that to this day and I'm 82
Family trauma sticks with us.
Hi Allan, thanka for the piece. Unfortunately some therapists, especially beginners obsess around techniques and disregard the therapeutic relationships, which is based on the elements you have mentioned. The relationship, the present, the dynamics, and essential elements first; the strategies, techniques or whatever we calll them, should be integrated when necessary. This is what I encounter the most when I supervise therapists. Thanks for the reminder!
Selda, I know exactly what you mean. Our young therapists need a lot more training and to be in psychotherapy for themselves. Thank you for your observation.
I am a therapist and I have to believe that these "basic" and essential qualities that the therapist can bring to the client/therapist relationship superseed all the other latest techniques, trainings ECT. Let's never lose sight that the bare bones of any therapeutic relationship starts with the qualities you have outlined.
yes and thank you
Hi Allan, I couldn't agree more with this excellent essay. I totally agree that a psychotherapist must have empathy. That is one key to gaining a patient's trust. I was raised in a family that believed psychotherapy was shameful, and getting any kind of help was, as well. So I didn't seek out psychotherapy -- until a perfect storm happened: as an adult, I got diagnosed and treated for cancer, left a toxic marriage, and started a new job -- all within a timeframe of two years. Lots of stressors. I sought out a therapist who was kind and empathetic, someone I trusted, and it has made all the difference. Thank you!
Yes, I have lived this type of thing myself
I have been to a few therapists/counseling and I felt they were blaming me for the problems I was having at the time with my young son! One therapist said that my inner child was stronger than my adult self! I quit going to all the therapists at that time!
I don't blame you for giving up but there are good, empathectic non judgemental therapists out there. Have you tried again?
No, I don't think I need to see one now! I'm all alone with my kitty now! I see my son now and then and when he takes me for my appointments.I probably should have seen a therapist when I was a teenager. I used to get depressed a lot. I remember once talking to my pediatrician about it and he was going to suggest a therapist but I said no, I'll be o.k.